horoscope imitates life

libra horoscope for today:

You may not be able to relax enough today to feel fully at ease. You can sense that something big is coming down the path, but you cannot possibly know how to respond until you know exactly what it is. Don't push for a solution; clarity will return in time and you'll be able to take definitive action.

this is precisely how i operate through life in general. as someone who constantly seeks balance, not knowing the outcome of a situation that is before me makes it difficult to know what stance to take. defensive? offensive? no position? decision-making without foreknowledge is one of the hardest things for me to grasp. so what do i do? i play out every possible scenario. i bank on the absolute worst happening, and hope for the best. but i try to cover all my bases and all possible outcomes in order to gain some sort of grip on the parts that i cannot predict or control.

and it's not really about the control, per se. it's really about the comfort level. and only in situations where the outcome could adversely affect my personal life or family. i don't have a hard time taking risks when the consequences aren't those that are detrimental. i'll throw myself into any situation that i don't have to give serious worry or concern to.

when, though, a situation arises that could impact my future, or my family's future, i weigh options and possibilities quite heavily. i suppose it could be seen as an exercise in futility, since i don't know what i don't know and the outcome will be what it is when it arises, but i prefer to see it as a sign of my priorities. nothing in life is more important to me than the happiness and well-being of my family. and if i am charged with the responsibility of making a decision that also affects them, i give deep consideration to all of those possible outcomes.

sometimes it slows down the process, but i'd rather delay the process and come out of it for the better than to make a snap decision and possibly set everything back.

i went through this when i dealt with everything in family court; dealing with the opposing party who is predictably unpredictable, and who *does* make knee-jerk decisions, put me on the defensive quite often. slowly, i allowed myself to let go of that, because what inevitably happened was that the other person, in making those decisions, showed their intent and priorities to everyone who made the final decisions, and i ended up getting exactly what i'd asked for, while the whole time fretting that that wouldn't happen.

to acquiesce to another person, especially when you know their motive, and know their inner being, and know that they don't follow a path that is true, right or correct in any way, is a very difficult choice to make. one quote, from napoleon, kept me focused: 'never interrupt your enemy while he is making a mistake'. there were a few times where i tried to push for a solution, but the timing wasn't right, and it was definitely at a time of obscurity.

to read this horoscope today and to be able to nod in agreement, given there are but a few loose ends waiting to be tied, strikes home. i know that i still have choices and options once that clarity i'm waiting for arrives, but it's the wait that really kills me. hopefully this week i will be in the know.

i have seen three shooting stars in the past two weeks; about a year ago the same thing happened, and each of those stars came in handy when they mattered most; i'm hoping that's the case with these this year.