what's your role?

Play your part in the comedy, but don't identify yourself with your role!
- Why Lazurus Laughed by Wei Wu Wei...

so begins the comedy.
i just got word that the court case i thought was done and over with is being resurrected in the form of an appeal. once again, it is dragged out. once again, the attempt is made to avoid responsibility. and hopefully once again, it will be shot down.

i use the term comedy loosely, as the ex is a joke, and his MO is as transparent as can be. this is all about money, and how he doesn't want to take care of his financial obligations. where the 'funny' part comes in is that he's willing to spend an amount equal to what he already owes me to try to avoid that, and an amount *double* what he owes for child support at present. it appears as if he has identified himself with his role, which is that of the deadbeat dad.

he makes more than twice what i do annually, and thinks that *that* should have determined custody, not who was the parent better able to give a consistent, healthy home to our child. he thinks that paying his lawyer thousands of dollars is going to get him out of paying the thousands of dollars he's avoided paying in child support to-date. he thinks it's all a funny game.

and he thinks, above all, that this is somehow going to be detrimental to me. that this *matters*. that by taking this final judgment another step further, that he runs the show. oh, and that *i* am going to end up paying *his* bills. i did that for seven years; his wife can do that now.

if only he'd been so passionate about our daughter. if only the cause i fought so hard for and won was as important to him as it was to me. perhaps we wouldn't be at odds.

because at the end of the day, i already have what i wanted from all the pain and stress i went through. child support is just an administrative formality to keep his deadbeat ass in line, because he thinks he can skirt the law. child support was simply my way of making sure that if he failed to take care of our daughter, which he does regularly, in many many ways, that there was a system of checks and balances that would hold him responsible and accountable. every week that he fails to pay is depriving our child of something, not me.

he's so blind to that, though, that he will continue on this path until he has exhausted his bank account, his wife's bank account (i had this revelation on my way home that she is his source of income for this whole thing, and the last woman he was with didn't make 'enough' to fund him legally *and* support his drinking, which is why he decided it was okay to lay his hands on her), his family's bank account, and anyone else who will sympathize with his 'plight'.

i have no sympathy for a dirt bag woman beater who thinks that child support is chump change for his ex. i have no sympathy for an ignorant fuck who runs his bills up to the point where he's been evicted from an apartment, gone nearly into foreclosure on a home he purchased, couldn't get a loan to save his life, and has debt collectors calling for him at *my* home. i have no sympathy for a man-child who thinks that dragging out a court case that already went four years too long is a big joke; he's mocking a system that's inevitably going to put him in jail, if he continues his ways.

he's going to lose control, amongst other things, soon enough. and when he does, he'll only have himself to blame. for now, i give him the spotlight. it's what he wants, after all.